Katrina Totty - How did they do

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Katrina Totty

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Christine Flanagan's eulogy at the funeral service

If anyone had told me just a couple of weeks ago that I would be standing here, with one of my best mates lying there in a coffin. I would never have believed them.

But then life has a strange habit of throwing things at you when you least expect it.

When Luke and the family asked me to say a few words about Katrina, my initial thought was that I would not be able to do it. But given the friendship Katrina and I have shared over a 25 year period, in reality it’s the very least I can do as an everlasting symbol of our friendship.

I first met Katrina back in 1980. I was a rookie media buyer, working for Mel Harding at HQO.

At the time I was struggling to achieve credibility…….well more to the point to get onto the lunch circuit.

But in what was still a very male dominated world it was easier said than done.

Katrina was working as an agency sales rep at the time for the MEN, and she invited me to go for lunch to discuss the Carpet World and Martin Dawes accounts.

A triumph for me in terms of usurping Ray Sweeney and being recognised as a media person, but with hindsight a greater triumph because of the lasting friendship that was formed that day.

We went for a curry to the Rajdoot on South King Street. I still remember it vividly to this day. Curry at lunch time, unheard of! I was more paranoid about getting back late, but as the lunch unfolded, something clicked and we just hit it off. I remember the pictures of her cute little son, lots of laughter……and all of a sudden we were the only two left and I knew I had gone way past my lunchtime curfew.

And that was the start of a friendship that has lasted the trials and tribulations of many years.

Katrina was a very special lady. She had the power to light up a room with her smile. She was a character in every sense of the word.

It doesn’t matter who you speak to, whenever you mention Katrina’s name it will be greeted with a huge smile and a shake of the head. A smile reflecting the tremendous affection she attracted from everyone she knew, and a shake of the head in recognition of her many eccentricities.

Our friendship was unlikely in many ways…….but it worked!

In some ways I feel totally underdressed today. She was petite and very girly all the time, I was the opposite. In deference to Totty, part of me feels that I should be stood here in leopard print with lacy tights at the very least, oh and maybe just a hint of cleavage. Fashion was a big part of Katrina’s life, and I don’t think I ever saw her without full make up and a fully coordinated outfit.

I would be sitting in a bar in Bramhall and I would see Katrina wandering round the shops dolled up to the nines.Time for me to think ok so its Saturday, but why have I come out in a track suit looking like I’ve been pulled through a hedge backwards.

Having seen her from a distance, you always knew that it would be a matter of minutes before she breezed into the bar, cigarette in one hand, huge handbag in the other. (And we’ll come back to that handbag later).

But even then it could take her 10 minutes for Katrina to get to you. Katrina was a social butterfly and wherever she went she attracted a huge entourage, and she would always spend time with each and every member of her ‘fan club’ before she would finally wend her way to your table.

That was one of Katrina’s strengths. She took time to get to know people. Whoever they were and whatever their circumstance, Totty was always happy to spend time with them. Friends like me would often despair, but with hindsight, it was in part this great sense of compassion that gave her this massive circle of friends.

The Katrina I want to remember was always smiling, always happy and always hopeful.

Katrina did not have an easy life, a fact that many people here today might not be aware of. Life threw a lot of crap at Katrina, but where some of us would have fallen, Katrina would stand tall, all 4’11” of her, and take it full on the chin and even go on to throw it right back.

Yes Katrina was a survivor. At her best when under threat. She might have been a tiny little waif of a creature, but she had the strength of an ox.

I’ve already mentioned her passion for clothes and fashion, and working in the high powered world of womens’ magazines it was imperative that she looked the part.

But no designer stores for Totty. She would trawl the charity shops until she found the inevitable bargain onto which she would stamp her own distinctive look. On one occasion she arrived home having totally chuffed with the bargains she had found at the charity shop, only to find that they were items of clothing that Luke’s girlfriend had donated a couple of days before.

I’ve already mentioned the big handbags. She always had a huge handbag. It was always gaping open and usually there would be a wad of cash sitting on top of it. Often it would be left in the middle of the room with Katrina nowhere to be seen. Whenever we met would end up virtually emptying it to find a lighter. I would hazard a guess that she was carrying one of those monster handbags with her last Wednesday ( And there’s still more to come on the handbag).

Katrina had a real sense of compassion. In the last couple of years she had become involved in the NABS committee where she played an invaluable role as secretary.

She was totally committed to her new role and drew upon a wealth of personal experience and sympathy to bring a new dimension to the role. And she was always ready to stay for an extra glass of red after the meeting……to the delight of her fellow committee members.

Katrina filled a variety of roles in her life, mother, wife, friend, carer, sales person extraordinaire…….and she excelled at all of them.

In the last few years Katrina had discovered happiness with her husband Peter, and had built a lovely home at their bungalow in Bramhall. Her passion for interior design developed and over the years conservatories and extensions were added, and it’s only a pity she didn’t get to take full advantage of the new loft extension.

For those of you who hadn’t visited the jungle feel of her house was spectacular, no need to go on safari, just pop round to Katrina’s. In fact I’d be very surprised if she hadn’t already started planning the interior of the coffin!!! Zebra print perhaps. The passion for interior design didn’t stop in the house…….she was the only person I knew that had 3 sheds - all with net curtains and coordinating soft furnishings!!!!

Totty had a huge appetite for life and all it put in front of her. She embraced life and lived every day as though it were her last. Katrina and I would go through phases of seeing each other every week, then we would maybe not see each other for a couple of months. But it didn’t matter. Her sense of true friendship superseded time, and we could always pick up where we left off. I’m sure the same is true of so many of you here today.

But her friends were just part of the equation.

Underneath the exterior, was a person who truly valued her family and close friends. Her husband Peter, her brothers Peter and Michael, and their partners Janice and Liz and her many close friends and work colleagues.

But more than anything else the very essence of Katrina’s life was the young man sitting in front of me now. Her beloved son Luke. Luke was, in a word, Katrina’s world. She worshipped that boy and it was a feeling that was quite clearly reciprocated many times over.

I first met Luke as a toddler, and I‘ve been proud to watch him grow into the fine young man he is today.

Luke has not only lost his mum. He’s lost his best friend and his drinking partner. There aren’t many young men of his age who would willingly invite their mothers on their nights out. He did. (Mind you often he didn’t get any choice in the matter – she just turned up) He’s recently bought a house…..but has he moved out lock stock and barrel….no. And why not? Because Katrina, his mum was an intrinsic part of his life.

Luke I can’t begin to know what you feel at the moment, but I do know that your mum loved you and was so very proud of you. Please promise me you’ll do her the honour of being the man she wanted you to be, and remember that wherever she is now, she is still with you! Also remember that all of your mum’s friends are there to look out for you. We can never replace Katrina, but we can be there for you if you need us.

In the last few days since I heard of Katrina’s untimely death, I have been through all the platitudes with so many people.

And whilst it doesn’t ease the pain I think we all agree that if she had planned this she couldn’t have done it better.

The MPA Fashion Show…one of the industry events of the year. No doubt Katrina had consumed more than a few glasses of champagne, probably the best part of a bottle of red wine and of course the obligatory silk cut…….and then to take her final bow just off centre stage.

No she couldn’t have planned it better. It doesn’t make it easier for us that are left, but let’s try and take some consolation in that.

So it’s a sad day and it’s a testament to Katrina that so many people are here today, all of us feeling a massive sense of loss ands the fact that she and us have been cheated out of the best years.

To finish I’d like to clear up a couple of mysteries about what you might find if you cared to delve into the depths of the handbag. Seemingly Shirley once planted a half pound pack of sausages in the handbag to see how long before she found them. I believe they were there for more than a week. Certainly well past their sell by date.

Katrina lost her mobile phone a few months ago. She searched high and low for the mobile, but eventually it had to be replaced. Four months later, guess where it turned up.

Then there was the time that Luke called to say that he was in A&E at the local hospital. With her siege mentality, Katrina packed enough provisions for a small expedition and set off to meet him. Once in the waiting room she proceeded to hand out sandwiches to everyone who was waiting and then offered them all hot chocolate…………….complete with froth on top, courtesy of a small whisk that she pulled from the handbag.

Finally, ever the consummate professional, one day Katrina had arranged to meet a really important client at The Lowry. If they won this piece of business, it would mean that Nat Mag titles would be on some major schedules. Throughout the meeting, Katrina had continued to take calls on her mobile, much to the annoyance of her client. She obviously took one call too many. When she returned from the loo she found that the client had stuffed her mobile phone into a jug of water on the table. Totty was not happy. So she pulled a pair of scissors out of the handbag and promptly chopped his tie off. Did she get the business – knowing Katrina, most probably.

Over the years I knew Katrina, she shared so much of my happiness, my pain, my illness, my secrets…..in fact my life. But more importantly she let me, and so many of you, share hers.

I’d like to finish with a few words I found in a poem.

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart. I think Katrina has most certainly left massive footprints on all of our hearts.

See you Tots.

I love you mate. I’ll miss you.Something to add? Then leave a comment below or email us now.

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Comments (1)

1 By Graeme Wood , on 27-03-2007 16:02
The first time I met Katrina was when I started working at the agency and she had come in to sell space for the Manchester Evening News. I remember she was dressed in hints of pink, was very lady like, polite, vivacious and had a radiant smile!

Attributes that stayed with her always.

Over the years, as I became more involved with media, I had closer dealings with Katrina and no matter how small the request for information, she always gave 100% effort and service.

Katrina was very much liked by all in our agency and it was one of her most appealing traits that she endeared herself with the whole team.

Katrina was from the old school, along with Megan and Shirley they were the “Charlie’s Angels” of the National Magazine Company. They worked hard and played hard, and at the same time they had a tremendous amount of fun.

As the industry changed so did her colleagues, but Katrina adapted well to the changes and continued to give 100% effort at all times.

Sadly, the day before Katrina passed away, she had finalised her retirement plan and was very much looking forward to spending more time in her home that she had painstakingly and lovingly refurbished and was also looking forward to spending more time with Peter, Luke and her friends.

Katrina was a big supporter of the industry in so many ways. She had taken on the responsibility of working as the NABS Northern Secretary, was a long standing member and supporter of the MPA and whenever there was a First Friday Ball, Katrina was always the first to organise magazines for the goody bags, and was on hand to offer her help whenever needed.

Whether invited to a ‘do’ as a guest of honour or as a last minute stand-in, Katrina would make every effort to make herself available.

That was the amazing thing about Katrina, despite a very busy professional and home life; she always managed to give you that most precious thing of all – her time.

I dined out with Katrina on many occasions and sometimes, we would go to her favourite French restaurant on Princess Street, near the Town Hall. She would always arrive immaculately dressed in very good humour, bearing a beaming smile – and, of course, infuriatingly late!But, even at this posh restaurant, she would still ask for the proverbial slice of bread or barmcake, put half a pound of butter on it and stuff it with chips!

Although it has been mentioned on many occasions, I am sure you will all be familiar with the famous Katrina handbags, in which she carried everything from media reports through to her cigarettes and lighter.

The first time my Wife & Mother-in-Law met Katrina was in the ladies toilets at a First Friday ball, there was complete panic from Katrina because she couldn’t find the plug for the basin and therefore, had everybody searching. The reason was that someone had asked if she had a needle & thread, which of course she had, and in order to get at it she needed to empty the complete contents of her bag into the basin without anything slipping down the plughole!

My favourite handbag story is the one where, for a prank, the girls from Nat Mags put a pound of sausages in the bottom of Katrina’s bag to see how long it would take before she found them. It was a week later when she was looking for her fags that she came across a pack of sausages, out of date, sweating and almost routed to the bottom of her bag, which of course, she found absolutely hilarious!

How many of us have recently been to an industry function and felt that there was someone missing and realised it was Katrina? Many people have said how much they missed seeing her there.

I was honoured to be invited, as one of the token blokes, to the inaugural lunch of the newly formed Tarts & Totties club.

The ‘Totties’ part of the name being chosen as a term of endearment to Katrina’s memory.

The President and organiser of the club, Pauline Hackett, as you can imagine organised a fantastic lunch at Taurus, with plenty of food & drink and it was attended by some of the senior women from the industry. Before commencing the procedures, we all stood and raised a glass of pink champagne to Katrina, she would have enjoyed the day very much and she was sadly missed.

It’s very hard for us all to have lost Katrina in such an abrupt way, but although she had lots of hardships in recent years, she always dealt with them positively and would still manage to smile her way through the upheavals of life. We have lost a great friend and colleague and although physically petite, she was a very large character, with a great sense of humour.

We are all left with fantastic memories of Katrina and she will never be forgotten.

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