Three years isn’t long on the cosmic scale of things – it’s only a 6th of the time it takes to make a new Indy movie, the average gap between issues of Scamp magazine or six times the lifespan of a digital media start-up.
But such was the interval (well 1138 days to be exact for those of you who have been cross-hatching it on your bedroom walls) between the day I skulked out of Ringway on March 5th 2005 and my triumphant return on April 18 2008.
As triumphant returns go it would probably be more on a par with Right Said Fred’s Xmas comeback single getting to no 37 in the Paraguayan Pick of the Pops, than say the Dalai Lama being swept back into Lhasa by an adoring acrylically garbed orange horde of warrior monks.
Still, I’ve always found warrior monks a tad ostentatious and somewhat out of place in terminal three. And who needs battle-honed holy men to greet you when you have the ever-ready “tut” of disappointment from an airport cabbie when he realizes you only want to go to Timperley and not Kendal or Dundee?
I’m not going to bore you with the Death of the UK Service Industry which awaited me, nor with writing an only slightly premature obituary for the nation’s moribund public transport network. No, I shall instead bore you, if only briefly, with a few observations on the state of the media which left me a little sad and quite pessimistic for the future of at least two sectors of it – the regional press and public sector broadcasting.
Flicking through the MEN, The Birmingham Mail and the Evening Standard, it was hard – a few comment pieces aside – to uncover anything that wasn’t either wire copy or obviously sourced from a PR company.
The MEN was a particular victim. Editorial quality has been the clear victim of its movement to increasingly free status. After predictions that TV and latterly the internet being the regional reaper, it looks more likely that it is the Metro that has provided, initially, a blueprint for the regional press and, ultimately, I suspect, an epitaph.
A visit to the BBC Centre in London was similarly depressing but for very different reasons. The technology on show in its many newsrooms is unrecognizable from my last visit back in 1989, but so too was the surprising number of empty work stations and the almost palpable air of depression in the place.
Dark times for BBC London?
The depression is not just because of the budget cuts and impending departures, but also the spectre of Media City, which has not been the same source of jubilation for long term London-based employees of the Corporation as it has been for the shareholders of Peel Holdings.
As one commented: “People have made a life here. Their kids go to school here. Now they are being forced to uproot because of a government initiative aimed at building their own regional credentials at the expense of other people’s livelihoods.”
Another put it less prosaically: “What is the fucking point of moving BBC Sport to Manchester a year before the Olympics?”
What indeed.
Mind you, having spent a week in London, a disintegrating hulk of a city, you’d think the buggers would be glad to move out. There are areas of city centre London that have a palpable air of menace – with the tourist spots ringed by dubious individuals eying the handbag, camera case or laptop of passers-by with barely concealed intent.
Likewise the under-funded, under-maintained underground now boasts the facilities and hygiene levels that would make only the Fritzl family feel truly at home.
Enough of Mr Murray’s Grand Tour, although I do reserve the right to return to this theme at a later date and expound more fully on Just Exactly How Things Have Gone Entirely to Shit Ever Since I Left The Country. Get your tickets now.
Mad Men or Manc Men?
The credit crunch seems to have predictably bought escapism to the fore – with the enticing, heady, nay hedonistic, worlds of advertising, public relations and the media offering a welcome respite from having your Egg card recalled.
On the mass media front this has taken the form of the latest stateside import – AMC’s Mad Men, a drama series set in a Madison Avenue advertising agency in the 1960’s which is now gracing BBC 2 on Tuesday nights. The Guardian TV reviewer branded it “unbelievably misogynistic”, “sexist”, “racist” “anti-Semitic” and full of characters who “smoke all the time”. How very different from our own beloved North West agency scene where hardly anyone seems to smoke at all these days…
Yes, I somehow think Mad Men’s repertoire of sneering all-white ad men (who consider secretaries and the lower ranks as fair game for a spot of not so discrete hide-the-sausage frolickery) would not feel too out of place in the North West ad scene of the 21st century.
Mighty!
As even the make up of the audience at the mighty How-Do awards will attest to – the advertising and media industry still lags well behind other sectors – medicine, the law, accountancy etc – when it comes to equal opportunities, whether on a sex or race basis.
True, the head of the North West’s largest agency – Sue Little CEO of McCann – is a lady as is the head of the North West’s largest independent – Nicki Unsworth at BJL, but they are notable exceptions and hardly typical.
The creative departments of the majority of agencies and design houses are still dominated by white, middle-class blokeys, as are most of the board positions.
Media independents tend to employ a few flirty birds, largely I suspect as most media owners sales staff are crusty old ruddy faced blokes willing to knock a few bob off the rate card in return for a few hours playing footsie at El Rincon.
PR, too, has long been a girly preserve. Is it because those with a double XX chromosome have a genetic pre-disposition towards media relations or that short skirts and high heels are more likely to catch the attention of a randy business journo than even the glitziest of press packs? I think we know where the smart money is on that one.
For my own usual altruistic reasons, I have decided to launch the Campaign To Find Ladies Advertising Positions (Or, rather unfortunately CATFLAP for short). To rally to my banner and put end to the rife sexism and tokenistic approach to women in the advertising and design industry, simply email a photograph (draped or undraped) and your CV (including qualifications and cup size) to the usual address. Boilers need not apply.
On a more serious note, it would genuinely be a result if one day it was no longer possible to rewrite the following hoary old chestnut:
Q: What do you say to a black man at an ad awards event?
A: Coat, please.
And similarly, I think the first time an industry awards event organizer in the North West scratches his/her head and worries about wheelchair access will be a sign that the industry has genuinely embraced the multi-culturalism and pluralism it has so long paid lip service to.
Get your emails pouring in – and, to save you looking it up, this is how you spell “hypocrisy”.
The Lying Bloggers
Jenny: Spinning away
Staying on the soap opera front – fair play to Brazen PR and Manchester Live for their successful co-operation in launching the on-line offering, Spinning Jenny. Can’t quite see the relevance of the title - after all a Spinning Jenny produced better quality yarns quickly and effectively, annoying all the local competition and making them worry about losing their jobs. No, no relevance at all there then.
A slighty less successful soap opera offering was the santitised “live” blog that the Liverpool Daily Post offered to its readers last month. I somehow doubt that comments such as “Is it true we’ll be able to watch conference on streaming video?” and “Can you tell me exactly how extensive and forward looking Trinity Mirror’s on-line offering is now?” were genuinely sourced from a bunch of journalistic-savvy housewives in the Huyton area.
Where was the “Bay City Rollers on Swap Shop” moment that we all craved? Readers of a certain age will of course recall the seminal moment on seventies BBC Saturday morning kid’s TV flag ship “Multi-coloured Swap Shop” (proprietor N.Edmonds esq) when a caller departed from his agreed question on the true meaning of Shang-A-Lang and said, on behalf of a grateful nation: “A lot of boys think you’re puffs…”
No such highlights on the LDP live-ish offering, merely a smattering of bored journos from other publications offering half-hearted congratulations, a clutch of PRs taking the opportunity for some on-line ingratiation and a few obvious plants posting scripted questions intended to elicit answers in the key of “You know I’m glad you asked me that…”
You, know a lot of boys (and girls) may think this a self-indulgent exercise in obviously censored puffery…
Thank the Lard…
Soft-shoe shuffler
Reverting to Brazen for a moment, why all the fuss about their talent show search for new recruits? This Pop Idol-style route to staff selction has a long and noble history. It is a little known fact that Paul Carroll got his first break in PR after performing his legendary soft-shoe shuffle to the tune of Howard Jones’ 1984 no 4 smash “Like to get to know you well”.
Similarly obscured by the mists of time is the historic occasion when Phil Staniforth and John Williams duetted on “You’re the One that I want” to secure their very first account – the Preston & District Dripping and Lard Promotion Board, then, as now, a very prestigious bit of North West PR business.
A few things surprised me on my trip back to UK plc last month – notably the transformation of Pete Johnson, creative director of AWA, into a dead ringer for legendary film producer, David Puttnam. Pete, should the old creative juices ever dry-up there’s surely a niche for you on the Chariots of Fire convention circuit as a Puttnam look-a-likey. They might even let you draw the raffle.
A few intriguing quotes also caught my eye while skimming across the last month of How-do-ery. But who to give that prized Quote of the Month to?
First up is Susan White, on-line marketing manager for Hillary’s blinds who teased us with this little snippet: “Customers’ buying behavior in Ireland is very different when it comes to choosing their window coverings.” For God’s sake, Susan, you can’t leave us like that! The whole North Western media and marketing community is surely liking awake at night and wondering just what makes the Eirean glass-filled orifice ornamentation market so singular. A hell of a quote but, Christ, imagine being stuck in a lift with her…
Our next contender is Phillip Hirst, managing director of Hirst, Kidd and Rennie (publishers of the Oldham Evening Chronicle) who told How-Do that HKR’s acquisition of a stake in Rochdale On-line is an “advertiser’s dream”. Hand’s up every advertiser who has woken up at night whimpering: “If only I could buy the Oldham Chron and Rochdale On-Line as a package then, why, I’d be in marketing heaven to be sure…”
But I think the award should go to Alderley Edge’s Mediaburst who adroitly informed us that: “The deaf community is believed to be one of the most prolific user groups of SMS in the UK.” Forthcoming revelations from our Cheshire chums are believed to include a startling correlation in the ownership of white-sticks and purchase of Pedigree Chum by blind folk.
Cancer: A Cash-in Guide
Bloody cheek(s)?
A couple of campaigns and one welcome to finish. One of the most talked about campaigns of late seems to be Driven’s bid to body paint a nude male model and send him running down Canal Street – is this the world’s first instance of amibent media?
Still fair play to Driven for leading the way to cashing in on cancer by getting their man to hijack the Great Manchester Race. Truly pioneering stuff. In fact, taking a lead from them, I have a truly great stunt planned for next month’s “Wheels over the Wirral” paraplegic electric wheelchair race. I can’t give too much away, but suffice to say the client is Robot Wars…
MediaVest’s campaign for cereal bar brand, Eat Natural, should rightly send a chill down the spine of every advertising executive with a mortgage to pay. Printing blank ads with only the words “What do you think we should put here?” is getting perilously close to life before advertising agencies…
Producer: Hello. Would you like to buy some fruit?
Consumer: Yes, you know what, I think I would.
Why the very thought is naught but heretical. Start the pyres and storm the castle guys and ( c/f from above) token girls.
A Welcoming Word to Mr Wilson
And finally a welcome to Robin Wilson, who has taken over the hot seat at McCann PR from my old mate, Rob Brown.
Now I know nothing about Mr Wilson and I’m sure he has many estimable qualities and a sound grounding in PR as well as an enviable capacity for inspirational leadership, in light of which, I will give him just one piece of advice – next time you are choosing a picture of yourself for promotional purposes, don’t – and I repeat don’t! – choose the one that makes you look like a kiddie fiddler.
Y’all play nicely now, you hear.
Tony Murray would like to reassure regular readers that he remains uninjured by the earthquake that has struck China and understands that many of you were too worried to be able to face emailing him and soliciting his continued good health. Well, now you know he’s all safe, you can email him on tonymurray37@hotmail.com once again.
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